Viktor Lima Alpha Delta

SKABDRIVER - TASTE US Tour review

Fri, 02 May 2008 15:49:12 GMT

IF there was 1 more day added to these shows some one would have died and it's amazing that we all did not anyway.

Starting off on a sour note:
Leaving the World Empire HQ off-balance and deprived as normal we knew we only had half of what it took to make it all the way around and back home and here's some of the reasons:
GAS prices are way-the-fuck-out-of-control as most of you realize and... two weeks before the tour a last minute attempt to have merch to live off of was a failure. The friend of ours responsible was given around $250 to have shirts in, the shirts arrived and screen-printing scheduling was battling work schedules, rehearsal times, and road preparation. Since the shirts arrived we (along with his family, work, and close friends including girlfriend) never heard back from our merch guy (maybe dead, kidnapped). With no shirts printed for road income we made some DIY patches out of Industrial rubber sheets and spray-paint to sell for $2 or $3 each along with a giant collection of Porn for anyone interested. Preferring to ignore the reality we jumped in our newly purchased Van (pulled out of a ditch 4 days before departure, legalized, inspected, and given needed maintenance….) and loaded everything we could think we might need. Nothing was really, really well-thought out but Fuck it, we'll roll with it…. and we did.

THE SERPENTINE FIX:
Day 1 and only two hours into the drive we lost all power steering and it took a total body workout to make any turn over 45 degrees. Doubt was filling the air but a commitment kept us moving forward. 1 hour till Allentown, and making great time, our moldy white PIG named BERTHA decided to suddenly overheat. Luckily 1 hour from Allentown meant we were near another old home of mine, Harrisburg PA, the band's starting point for past 2004 and 2005 northeast tours. I called around and within minutes a Mother/Savior arrived with everything we needed and more, good people, on their way to see a band called SKABDRIVER in Allentown (AMAZING!!). We had broken 2 belts, the power-steering pump belt and last the serpentine belt to the engine fan. While waiting we realized we were standing on a natural dinner line. The heat from the road became a magnet for bloodsuckers and coincidentally there was blood for the sucking. We found ourselves getting covered in Ticks, relentless and starved, Armored Ninjas with SAW-straws for Jaws. Igor gave the highway a good strip-tease as we oversaturated his Bosnian brain with grim visions of LIME disease death. As soon as Igor and I man-handled the fan belt on we were off….now with a familiar caravan. MapQuest sent us off course once we were in the city but let us catch a glimpse of all the adolescent latino hookers waiting on porches in bikini tops and skin-tight jeans @ 50 degrees, with their gangsta pimp brothers wannabe's. A Left at the town statue and 1 block past the MUSHROOMHEAD show we arrived and illegally parked BERTHA.

SHOW 1: Allentown, PA
Darby mingled with the locals and made a booze run, J. Obscenity caught shit from Darby for bitching about the chaos of metal and wires we tossed in the trailer and asked him to be in charge of organizing. I pulled out the grinder and started making new parts for the recently destroyed keyboard stand from some scrap metal we picked up along the way, Igor talked business with the promoters, BERZERKER fueled the Tapeworm, and Skott put the mojo back into Mohawk. We summed up the crowd and felt a little relieved when we realized that the MUSHROOMHEAD show didn't kill the night as much as we thought it might, met the untamed crew of MyParasites and reunited with our coordinator Mario from Dyksick, these were two bands we'd be smelling for the rest of the tour. Mario smells pretty good but MyParasites stank like us!!
After seeing how the two-stage load-in worked, the lighting limits, and hearing the PA properties and how the venue mixed the other bands we knew we were not going to be satisfied putting SKABDRIVER on this stage. Like most venues that book independent bands they were not prepared for multiple instrument feeds and click returns and made minimum attempts to expedite load-in and load-outs to make time for quality sound checks. Their lighting system was a joke and any band standing on that stage must feel awkward. After asking the house about it they gave me the "we can't change the colors, turn any off, or change the cycle at all, you'd have to ask some guy who's not around".
So ….we setup and the set began. With almost no monitor feed, none of us could hear each other, or ourselves, besides the bass. This is not what this band, this band being our jobs, our effort, our time, our sacrifice to the scene, a gift that is suppose to give you everything we know you want, because it's everything we know is missing, because we grew up in all this and want to see it mature, and offer something worth every second you waste to watch it, not a watered down moneymaking entertainment gimmick, but a band that's living, breathing, and dieing in front of you. This is something worth digesting, it's a reflection of you, created by our struggles, and will not let you down. Uncompromised and relentless we will fight to bring it to you full-force or nothing. This band deserves the respect so few fight for and others fail to succeed. There is blood, loyalty, and duty behind this. I was not going to stand there and let all of our efforts be minimized by the care-less routines of a venue. Do your job and support the bands or Fuck you, we'll pack up our shit and throw down in our own fucking studio, all 20x20 feet of it in ATL and sound 10 times better than this shit. So I ripped my cable in half, walked my ass to the mixing booth and asked "could you do your fucking job and make us at least Audible", threw my mic at the mockery of lights and continued out the back door with as much as I could grab to begin load-out to get the Hell out of this situation. For all I cared the tour could be cancelled and we'd spend the rest of our money on finishing an album…so maybe we could catch the eye of someone willing to offer us the respect a touring band deserves.
We require common stage necessities and support. This is our chosen trade, this is our labor. Venues too often take free labor for granted and short-change themselves in the long run. Nurture success and hidden value, or continue sucking from the starved!
If Igor and Darby had not ran outside in the rain to tell me that no one left and that everyone standing in the audience was still there waiting and wanting more I would've went on a serious walk downtown to reassess this tour and my life. I saw the look in their eyes and they were satisfied with what was done, the message had been sent, now it was time to do what we were there to do. The Venue made some proper adjustments in levels and Mario replaced my broken mic and chord with his own. We switched up our set to accommodate the mood and drove on. Thank you Allentown and thank you Sterling Hotel.

SHOW 2: Pittsburgh, PA
Still no power steering but we made it to Pittsburg on the PA turnpike with no other complaints besides the $15 toll fee but tunnels are always fun (unless there's a wreck in one). The part of the city we were driving through felt good, felt like it had attitude, reminded me of Little 5 - ATL, or St. Mark's area – NYC, BUT we expected a lot more out of the venue. Not their fault though, they did what they did, they were a bar and Upstage Nation decided to host it's event in their bar. No problem, this was going to be an easy gig, no big expectations, small crowd, lot's of beer, a hospitable curvy bartender, an Oak tree with a bandana for a door guy (more Alpha male in one man than everyone in SKABDRIVER combined). MyParasites beat their drum pads into the stage like a Skinhead curb-stompin' a skeleton and J. Obscenity was recruited to treat their keyboard (our keyboard) with the same respect. Denied a Roman god's amount of DI boxes we played through our set "home-style" as fuck and I tortured my vocals into non-existence to try and cut through the mix…to no avail. Afterwards we finally made the Door-Rhino chuckle a few times, gave the "Smiling Moose" some custom SKABDRIVER beer coasters and walked outside to witness an entertaining but very untimely fight between a drunken Brooklyn-esque street-core punk and a "thuperfashion" gay boy with glasses. The fight spread as the Brooklyn-punk guy began drunkenly adding everyone in the area to his "Fuck Youz" list and out came the unstoppable Antics of JAWS. INSTIGATING, IRRITATING, AND EXPLOITING THE DRUNKS EVERY WORD RELENTLESSLY, vomiting any smart-ass remark fathomable to propel the situation to a street-riot status. JAWS can't be turned off once turned on ladies and Gentlemen, a vile-mouthed untamable momentum, JAWS is controversy. JAWS we love ya man! Anyhow, after being punched by the gay boy in the face and carried across the street by Mario, ONLY to yell more drunken rubbish at us all, did we find out that that punk kid was Mario's best friend. This whole time we're loading all our gear into the van, fighting rain, and search-proofing BERTHA expecting cops any second (JIC!). BERTHA had started to reek of gasoline and we were having a hard time breathing (without feeling funny). Obviously more maintenance was on the way. The Uber-Alpha-Male doorguy from the "Smiling Moose" chased Mario's friend 8 block's up the road till everyone settled down and we all left huffing gas fumes on the Pittsburgh highway labyrinth with no Power Steering, dwindling funds, following a girl on an hour ride to spend the night at an all girl's Art dorm in a little town none of us really wanted to ever leave.

SHOW 3: Cleveland, OH
It never happened. Show was discussed and approved and even confirmed about a month ago then, …….no fucking call, no answer, no support, no further contact efforts. Couldn't even get the faggots to trade the gig to a different venue. What a piece of shit bunch of booking management assholes. There was not 1 goddamned thing happening on their calendar for this night and people were driving hours to see this fucking show. Fuck HI-FI in Cleveland, fuck the venue, fuck their phones, fuck it's supporters, fuck it's name, fuck it's email account, fuck it's website, fuck it's owner, fuck it's schedule, Fuck it, and if you're HI-FI ..FUCK YOU! We just spent an extra night at the all girl's art dorm. BTW, Every belt in our vehicle had to be replaced and we found out that the prick's who checked out BERTHA before we left had put 3 different sets of belts on the engine, or overlooked the fact that they were too large, really loose, and put on backwards. So the Gas leak was because another belt broke and hit a fuel line and an amazing mechanic shop across from the dorm replaced every single belt properly from 1 appropriate set and fixed our fuel line for less than $200 just to get us back on the road. I'm serious, if I ever want to move to a perfectly odd place I'm secretly moving there, So fantastically foreign!

SHOW 4: Columbus, OH
MATT, sincere apologies and a huge "THANK YOU" right off the bat. So, we put our faith in Matt's hands, Matt had never booked a show before but this guy was determined to get SKABDRIVER to Columbus. So, I guided him through all the loopholes, all the attempts, and he came out to surprise the hell out of me every time I spoke to him. After he achieved booking the Outland Nightclub they stuck him with a stiff fist and announced that the Nightclub was to shut down the week before the promised gig due to some church moving in next door, or something along those lines, and left him hanging with a confirmed show, a list of band's on a bill, and no venue. Within two weeks before the tour started he successfully moved the event to High-Five Bar and asked us to promote it as much as possible or it could easily be a failure. A band we had previously shared a stage with in Detroit called ONLYFLESH (a timeless act consisting of half Industrial/half Glam-rock with a twist of punk, Fire, and suspension) had joined the bill to help support us on the tour since we were on their stompin' grounds and they enjoyed us as much as we did them. The Rev knew we'd need local support if a show re-scheduled like this was going to have a pull.
Arriving at the show we soon realized Rev was more right than he knew I didn't know. Miscommunication, mass confusion, and immediate solutions had Dyksick and MyParasites on their way from NY, basically, to an early show that had to end at 10 sharp. It was now 7 and they were still an hour away and there were still very few people there. Matt seemed stressed out beyond normal human ability about the entire thing and I was ready to negotiate what had to be done. We'd go 1st and cut our set a song to try and fit at least MyParasites in the middle so ONLYFLESH could play a 40 minute set before 10pm. More bullshit happened like more bullshit always does and we started past that start time not really knowing when JAWS, J., and Mario would arrive. My voice was flat-lined from the attempts made to cut through the mix at the previous shows and although this small venue had a better set up than Allentown the PA system was inadequate to properly separate the different EQ bands. Almost from the start Igor was playing guitar and in a flash he noticed he was almost 2 whole steps off, looked down, then looked at me and realized I'd just gotten the shit knocked out of me by his guitar resulting in it sliding out of his hands nearly 4 or 5 inches. I saw black for 5 minutes and stars for the next 15, kept singing but tried to fall in love with the intense throbbing torturing my brow. This was probably the 6th time on this small tour I'd almost been knocked out cold. Rachel was in the crowd with DJ Flynt (ATL), the OnlyFlesh crew, Rev's head was shakin, the bartenders were into it, JAWS and Dyksick were there and it came to the last song. Somewhere near the middle of Necrophobic the damn Pentagon platform (missing its front leg) flipped over the front of the stage taking me with it. Turned around and the 200lbs motherfucker had landed upside down over me like a cage and Igor had already taken advantage of it's sudden use as an addition to the stage. If you must know, unless there's a bright light in my face I am not me, I'm a manifestation of whatever man or monster the music conjures. Like a pentacle or seal contained within living flesh, that's why I perform on a large metal pentagon. Once summoned expect no rational behavior. Before I knew it I was ending the song on Igor's back, a magnet to the room's total attention and when my hand felt a handle above me, there was no gravity, there was no up or down. There was resolution, contempt, mindless sacrifice, until there was reality. What I held was the highest support possible, I met the limitation of the climb, I was wrong to place faith in its strength. What it whispered was weakness. Reality was when I looked up and felt the blinding, body and mind-numbing power slowly slithering out of its unsuccessful sacrifice. The serpent had slithered into our veins and we were temporarily empowered at a cost.
What was ruined was the rest of the night, my chance to see a great performance by OnlyFlesh and speak without a guilty filter. What I ruined was a chance for OnlyFlesh to conjure their demons. In the end it's hard to say if it was worth it. Some could not have missed it, others felt as if we'd pissed all over their hospitality. In all respect I hate that Rev and the crew dragged their equipment and gear to a venue to be denied a chance because of our mindless self-reckoning. WE, and mostly I, apologize to all that the show upset. None of what happened was pre-meditated trust me, I told the venue owner he could punch me in the face as hard as he wanted "right then" outside and expected him to do it. I saw him think about it for nearly 3 seconds and maybe that helped him understand my sincerity.
20 minutes later my hip and lower spine was receiving such intense shocks that no matter which direction I moved, or if I didn't move they came like a beating. I could only squeeze my eyelids as tight as possible and breathe without moving my left leg. Each shock was a near blackout. Over and over again every 2 seconds. I was sure it had something to do with my sciatic nerve but I feared a hip fracture, disc slip, or severe spinal injury. I had fallen possibly 10 feet landing on my lower spine across the edge of a 2 inch tall galvanized steel reinforcement lip that was the edge of a 3 ft tall steel structure and then flipped over backwards on the ground with a hot lighting rig in my lap. I missed hitting the 1x1 inch steel leg by about a foot. As soon as I stood up I knew I needed an emergency room and even said it to the camera but adrenaline had me numb and I had to clear up the issues of venue damage and responsibility first. Mario loaded me in his car with Igor and Rachel and we headed to the OHIO State University Med. Center's Emergency room. A Wheelchair became a must and they immediately put a spinal support neck brace on me. As they diagnosed the situation they came across all the other injuries from the previous shows and forced me to take a Tetanus shot and an IV to hydrate me and administer Morphine so they could painlessly perform spinal test and EKG's. I was kept company by Mario, Rachel, and Trippin ass Igor who kept the atmosphere light with his Shroom induced lunacy and unreserved laughter over every question I was made to answer. I fucking swear all the nurses were toying with my cock,… most of the closed door X-ray interactions were completely unnecessary but I didn't mind a bit. They told me I was getting 50 something X-rays then admitted that they were kidding… In the end they still took 48.

SHOW 5: Long Island NY
With no money left to make it to NY then back home and my inability to walk correctly for the next week, SKABDRIVER decided to see if we could make it back to ATL on the leftover change in our pockets and continue on the album we forgot to wrap up before the tour. We'll be touring again in July/August and October so any promoters looking forward to our presence or touring bands needing an independent touring partner can start contacting us immediately. The sooner they are booked the better. I am now a firm enemy of rushing shit!!

Thank you:

J. Obscenity - for loading and unloading all our shit, putting up with Darby, and filming the shows (even though you missed all the good shit!!)
Anita, Joey - you will always be family. Never enough catching up! Love ya both.
Mario - for the booking & support, and the trip to the hospital. Sorry bout the cluster fucked Columbus schedule….and any inconvenience we caused. Good Times!
Matt - for all the effort, stress, shows, and mess. To your future!! Thanks man!
JAWS/Myparasites - constant good times and support!
Sabrina/Mercedes/Krista – couches, wine, floors, wireless access, bathrooms, tours, rides, beds, stuffed animals & roofs over our heads. Appreciated it!!
Upstage Nation for hosting a Skabdriver event….you got lucky!
To The awesome mechanics that'll never read this ever.
To the venues that dealt with our standards and was left with our messes.
To anyone who sponsored our drinking habits or tossed us a dime.
To everyone who posted the flyers & information online anywhere.
To all the fans who drove far to Taste our Tour.

To our Friends in ATL who help keep this alive.

ALSO: to the security bunch at the Sterling Hotel: Have fun with that big fucking knife you legally stole from me, it was a present to my little brother and you're only lucky that I got about 6 more.

[!SKABDRIVER!] - TASTE US Tour 2000HATE

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 04:53:20 GMT

6 Days Until We hit the road.... to point the Noize of the Beast in the Face of the NorthEast.

Taste Us mothafuckas!!

Yes yes yall... get ready for it...

Tue, 19 Sep 2006 05:56:45 GMT

Self Destrukt Productions giving you what you've been wanting... starting OCTOBER 2nd at our favorite underground lounge...

You probably want the details as well so here it be, cause we've started a W.E. ...

Finally a good hardcore dance night, with a cheap cover, a dark lounge environment, and our favorite DJ's with occasional surprise guest DJs. It can only get better.

Skabdriver does Brooklyn

Mon, 02 May 2005 10:33:47 GMT

Well, we showed our asses in Brooklyn....or at least I did....that and my dick,.......to a crowd outside the venue peekin in to see what in the fuck was goin on inside. I started the show out almost naked anyway. Got bloodied up smashing my head through glass which also cut up my legs and knees. I'm still pickin glass out of my skin. Tried to mingle with the onlookers and slamdance a little....just ended up kickin SOMEONE in the balls and almost knocked myself out 2 or 3 times. Thanks to everyone who picked up everything I through offstage and Greg's sacrificial left testicle. Check the REST of the new photos out yourselves...they've been posted in the live media section along with 2 small obnoxiously loud and krazy video clips from our past shows. We had to leave half of our shit in the Trailer because it wouldn't fit on their fuckin stage.....in the future I'll request the largest stage a venue offers cause we fuckin needed it. We're not some band that stands there and plays our fuckin music......that's lame.....We wanna tempt you, harass you, eat you....punch you in the face with our emotions.
We arrived back in town around 6 a.m. with everyone hungover and drunk and on other feel goods....and had to immediately unpack the fuckin trailer.....it was cold...we were fuckin tired........and I have never seen people move so fast in my life under those circumstances....the fuckin beds were callin our names folks! and I had to be up in a few hours to go to work. This day of work was no joke......I had maybe 4 huge purple knots on the side of my head.....dried blood in my ear and nose....and huge cuts in my head...plus glass in my legs.......yes.....that day sucked, but, it was memories of a good fuckin time.
Be part of our growing Malignant Militia and keep up with all the news. Skabdriver gear is on the way....and I'm tryin to swing more shows possibly in Philly and Baltimore. If you can help....Holla! Keep checkin back......or just join the god damned Militia and the shit'll come to you.

Pictures from the "Living room" and "Evos arts"

Fri, 25 Mar 2005 06:33:09 GMT

I am sick as fuck...maybe pnemonia. My lungs hurt so bad from unproductive coughing and I have a fever, soar throat, sinus congestion, and fatigue. I felt too bad to go to work yesterday. That will fuck me over moneywise next week. I shouldn't have worked today or work tomorrow but you have to make rent....and deal with other shit. Anyway....we had a blast up north playing and hangin out with Klone. Got alot of great video footage of the insane bullshit we do onstage and made it back alive to post a few pix. Lot's of great things are taking place soon. I'll make a post just for these things when I'm not dying.

-Skabdriver on Myspace

-www.Skabdriver.com

www.skabdriver.com

Tue, 15 Mar 2005 08:00:10 GMT

The site is back up.......or at least the front page for now. I'll get the rest of it up little by little. I have alot more power now,......alot more space to store shizit. I'm re-designing the entire site....I have a hot new look in mind....trust me. AND! the best thing of all.........

Our new shiny E-MAIL address is info@skabdriver.com.

of course I'll still be checking the old one....or I'll figure out how to forward all the mail. A ball is rolling right now and I hope it never stops...thank you to everyone who's contacting me and supporting us...and to all the others who's always been there. I'm off to bed.

Happy Birthday ME!!

Tue, 15 Mar 2005 05:04:37 GMT

Today was my 25th B-day....I don't really feel any different...but I'm sure it'll hit me later when I've had enough sleep to think straight. So what did I do for my B-day...well, I just got off work.....and I went in this morning at noon. LOL

A qwataaaa a cenchureeee yeeaz old I izz.

Thanks Eve.

THIS WEEK! Skabdriver live!

Sun, 13 Mar 2005 09:26:16 GMT

2 upcoming shows.....

- Fri. March 18th
Providence RI, @ "The Living Room"
Industrial Creepshow 2005
More Machine than Man, Skabdriver, Klone, Absynthe...and more
ALL AGES, $10.00
Doors at 8 PM

- Sat. March 19th
Lowell MA, @ "Evos Arts"
Skabdriver, Klone, and One Short Breath
21+ , no cover
Doors at 9 pm

www.SkabDriver.com
SkabDriver on Myspace
SkabDriver Yahoo Group

This entire week is dedicated to prep......we rehearsed today....and I totally remade Avis's Keyboard stand. It's now an industrial strength indestructible monster (and trust me....it's gonna get bigger...the brain juice was flowin last night), we've got some new shok props for the show and will be playing a few newer songs....mixed with some Martyr-era stuff and a little Power Noise to get the slam-dancing goin. I'd shoot you bastards some links or post some pictures of me grinding the stage art but the site's down. As far as fundage....we are lacking.....I'm in a big fuckin hole or our entire gettup would have tripled in size. In fact we're hoping the Van we're borrowing makes the trip. I didn't eat anything all day Saturday...and it's 4 am sunday..my stomachs screamin murder!!!!

Igor, call me about the site!! Panzer D., e-mail me about some shows krazy Fucker!! Everyone else.......tell a friend, specially DJ friends.....or promoters, or E-mags, or Aggressive EBM lovers about us.....help some Niggers out. This CombiChrist shits got me pissed.

Sun, 13 Mar 2005 08:21:59 GMT

Well, www.skabdriver.com has been down for 5 days. 1 week before we play 2 shows, and right after I sent out 500 emails to promoters for 2005 booking....with a link to our site. That's some timing let me tell you....EVERYTHING......EVERYTHING.....AND EVERYTHING, ALL AT ONCE.....LET'S GO. SHIT ON ME SOME MORE, I FUCKING LOVE IT!! Luck is out of control!!

Fri, 11 Mar 2005 09:28:01 GMT

Well.........I am a party mix of emotions tonight. None of them are good at all. The world has slowly wrapped it's hands around my throat......but as slow as age. I never saw all this coming at once. This is my pattern though. A huge ocean.....I'm either surfing at the top of a tsunami....or drowning at the bottom. I am fighting myself again, with my reasons....my being, my opinion. I see from too many perceptions and I used to think that was a good thing but it will make a person quiet...and confused. Just what is my opinion on anything......is it right?, what's right?....do I give a fuck what's right....I MOST CERTAINLY DO for some ungodly reason. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.....this is something I can't seem to care about.....why??? Is that a good trait....maybe....unless it's because you have been molded by society to care about what other people think about you other than your own wellbeing. OH SHIT!! So that's where I stand. I care.....too much, and I can't stop. The second I decide to start doing something for Mr. Uno for the 1st time in my life....there's always that 1 fucking person with a huge fucking sledghammer....right there to nail me with "You are greedy!!" YES I AM FUCKING GREEDY!!!! THAT'S WHY I DON'T OWN 1 FUCKING THING! That's why I write and sing in an UNDER the underground fucking unknown act that maybe 2 people in every state might like because it's hard and offensive. That's why I write music for the pickiest bitches on earth!!!! "UH, I don't like that song because it has a guitar in it", or "Dude, Industrial's dead..........people are writing Post-industrial now...get with the program." ....and that's exactly why you see me sporting stretch-pants, creepers, and a tight T-shirt with a pussy hawk that's 2 colors of blond too!! I DON't Give A Fuck About Trends. WHY?? I could own a nice house......Fuck bitches all the time!!!, Own a pool, wear flashy jewelry, and could be drivin a Gold hearse by now.
LIFE COUld be SO easy if I actually cared about myself. What the fuck is wrong with me?? Why am I who I am and what the hell am I. I am not the same person I was 2 years ago. The off the wall, testosterone pumped, headcharger, on a mission to take over the world! Now......I'm confused, emotional, depressed, pissed, lost, and trapped. There are so many fucking layers to everything....every step of the process has a sub-process attached that must be evaluated properly before moving to the next.......I can't even find the bottom......they just keep going and going and fucking going. Maybe this is just one of those days, I have them....when I think way too hard. I have a problem with zooming in on issues....then diving into them, dividing them....organizing the data, analyzing it all, and theorizing, then researching, and putting it all back together in multiple perceptions. The world, and it's system is a giant complex 3 dimensional cartoon in my mind. A giant glass overview with a magnifying tool. Reminds me of Sim City. Everything has rules, structures, layers, systems, plots, choices, directions, consequences. I wrote this last week..........this is truly getting yourself trapped inside one of those zooms.

Freedom is a state of Mind. Have you ever watched a dog catcher catch an animal......and wondered,"why does it let him put that fucking noose around his neck, why doesn't it fight for escape, is it's instincts not Screaming at him right now!!!". Remember the soft kind words the catcher used........the slow movements.....the determination, the deception. Then, as soon as trust is installed, the noose is pulled tight and escape is obselete.... Well, the same thing has happened to you. Illusions and temptations surround you. See it's deception!! There is a box, and it's outside is covered by smiling faces, lavish riches, sex, and rainbows with a logo that reads,"Consume" Inside are tons and tons of magazines. The 1st couple are filled with wonderful pictures.....full-color pages...and happiness......but from there the colors fade..... and it fades so slowly that we don't notice. We keep digging for more....like a game of scavenger hunt. Digging digging digging. The pretty adds and funny pictures get farther and farther apart. Somewhere deep in the box we realize that we are far too deep to get out. The walls are taller than us.....and we are sinking. We look down and the pretty magazines have turned to mud. Just when it seems hopeless.....we reach down and find a sliver of hope........a shovel!! What else could be down there? Then we find an add, a picture of a rich man with a huge house, and a giant pool filled with women. The headliner says"You have to Dig Deep if you want Success". With this new excitement, you begin digging.....as fast as you can.....until it becomes so dark and cold, and your body hurts so much that you can't move. You feel around the tight hole you stand in and notice a light switch. You're hands race up and flip it on. What you see before you is horrifying. What you see before you is YOU, or your reflection in a mirror.....an old, cold, lifeless bag of bones. You can't even remember what your hands use to look like. Now they are frail and thin, covered in wrinkles, but you're palms are an inch thick with callous. Written on the mirror in blood is a message...."Thank you", signed: your country. Now the light slowly goes out and you feel your lungs tighten. As you lie down for your last time in the grave that you dug yourself one last smile is squeezed from your face, one thought made all this easier. You always had looked forward to heaven. You close your eyes......................and wait................

BTW...Genesis P. Orridge is another hero of mine.

If you think you should give up life and all desire to become a revolutionary.....how do you find others that have done the same. How do you trust those that you find. Is this step 2 to becoming a homeless Bum.
LOL, no one listen to me. I am totally insane. It's funny how you can read 1 persons last 5 LJ post and hurt as bad as I do.

AAAUUUGGGHHH

Fri, 25 Feb 2005 05:00:03 GMT

I had to drive home 10 miles tonight in 7 inches of snow!!! With shipping trucks passing me goin 50. Outside at work after I cleaned my car off and scraped the windows I fishtailed and wheeleyed all the fuck over the parkin lot screamin out tha window ARKANSAS style bitches yeah!!! I needed my skillz down before we departed on this journey. It's still snowin and they don't plow or salt the roads till it quits. That damn dirty icon needs a guy that looks horny....maybe rubbin his dick or somthin.

R I P Hunter S Thompson!!!!

Wed, 23 Feb 2005 03:21:20 GMT

All my heros are dieing!!!! I was such a huge fan of this one!!!

'Gonzo' Journalist Thompson Kills Self
Los Angeles Times

By David Kelly Times Staff Writer

DENVER — Hunter S. Thompson, the counterculture literary figure who
rode with the Hells Angels, famously chronicled the Nixon-McGovern
presidential race and coined the term "gonzo journalism," committed
suicide Sunday night at his secluded home outside Aspen, Colo., his
son said. Thompson was 67.

"Hunter Thompson took his life with a gunshot to the head at his
fortified compound in Woody Creek," Juan Thompson said in a statement.
"Hunter prized his privacy and we ask his friends and admirers to
respect that privacy as well as that of his family."

Pitkin County sheriff's officials confirmed Sunday that Thompson died
of a gunshot wound, saying they received a call from his home about 6
p.m.

Friends and neighbors said late Sunday that they were shocked by
Thompson's suicide, but knew he had his demons.

"We don't know anything about the circumstances surrounding his death,
but he was a volatile person," said Troy Hooper, associate editor of
the Aspen Daily News and a longtime friend of the writer. "I was at
his house last week and there was nothing in his behavior that was
different. He was no more distraught than usual; he was often either
up or down."

Hooper said Thompson had been in pain from back surgery and an
artificial hip. And he had broken his leg on a recent trip to Hawaii.

"He said he was executing a hairpin turn at the minibar when he broke
it," said Hooper, who said he was acting as the family's spokesman.
"Hunter was one of the literary giants of the 20th century. We are all
just shocked."

Thompson, whose works included "Hell's Angels," "Fear and Loathing in
Las Vegas" and "Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail '72," which
chronicled the race between Richard Nixon and George McGovern, was a
well-known firearms aficionado who took frequent target practice in
his backyard. In 2000, he slightly wounded an assistant while trying
to shoot a bear on his property.

Woody Creek, a small town about eight miles northwest of Aspen, is
home to a number of celebrities including the TV actor Don Johnson and
John Oates of the singing duo Hall and Oates. Thompson spent much of
his time socializing at the Woody Creek Tavern.

"We're letting it rest for tonight," said a woman who answered the
phone Sunday at the tavern, where Thompson ate lunch most days.

Buddy Ortega, 62, a real estate broker and ski instructor, met
Thompson in the 1960s at a party. The pair socialized over the years,
and Ortega supported Thompson's quixotic run for sheriff — though he
figured it was a longshot when he saw campaign posters with pictures
of hallucinogenic peyote buds.

In recent years, Ortega said, the hard-living journalist had become
more reclusive, hanging out at the home he called his "compound" and
taking advantage of open space to fire his automatic weapons.

But Ortega hadn't seen anything out of the ordinary recently. He said
he last saw Thompson two days ago at Woody Creek's post office, and
everything seemed fine.

"We all have demons," Ortega said. "Who knows, man? You sit down, have
a few cocktails or maybe nothing — maybe you have a cup of green tea —
and maybe nothing seems right. He was a little more complex than most
of us, so maybe some of those demons surfaced and he didn't like what
he saw."

Hunter Stockton Thompson was born July 18, 1937, in Louisville, Ky.
His father, Jack, was an insurance agent.

In 1963, he married Sandra Dawn, the mother of his son Juan.

He served two years in the Air Force in Florida, where he was a
newspaper sports editor. He was the Caribbean correspondent for the
New York Herald Tribune in 1959, and worked as a South American
correspondent for the New York-based National Observer from 1961 to
1963.

But he earned his outsized reputation for his work in Rolling Stone
magazine.

Thompson was the flip side of American novelist Tom Wolfe. Both
established themselves as brand names in the literary journalism
movement that sought to capture the strife and youthful boldness of
the 1960s. Thompson was the wild man who embraced the chaos, while
Wolfe was often portrayed as the buttoned-down neutral observer.

Thompson called what he did "gonzo journalism," differentiating it
from mainstream reporting by aggressively injecting himself into the
story and giving up any pretense of objectivity.

Thompson's style of journalism — well-armed, well-drugged and wildly
iconoclastic — made him a counterculture figure of rare longevity.

"I hate to advocate weird chemicals, alcohol, violence or insanity to
anyone … but they've always worked for me," Thompson said.

His irascible and volatile persona seemed to outsize the books and
essays he wrote. Twice his life was brought to the screen — once by
Bill Murray in 1980's "Where the Buffalo Roam," and again in the 1998
Terry Gilliam film "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," in which Johnny
Depp took his turn as Thompson. Both actors remained friends with
Thompson.

Thompson also triumphed on the comics page — ensuring that the most
maverick journalist of his generation could get a spot in the
mainstream newspapers that would never dare print his profanity-laced
essays. The character of "Uncle" Duke in the "Doonesbury" strip has
for decades been a thinly disguised and always mercenary caricature of
Thompson.

William McKeen, a University of Florida professor who wrote the 1991
critical biography "Hunter S. Thompson," kept in touch with the
journalist.

"He had clearly been amid a great renaissance in recent years where
the public had rediscovered his value and their interest in him,"
McKeen said Sunday night. "The news is stunning."

Times staff writers Samantha Bonar, Geoff Boucher, Megan Garvey,
Ashley Powers and Richard Fausset contributed to this report.

SHOCKTOBERFEST , OCT 23rd Philly, PA

Sat, 09 Oct 2004 06:14:01 GMT

SkabdriveR will be stirring up emotions at this years SHOCKTOBERFEST in Philly scheduled for (Saturday) Oct. 23rd. The shit starts at 3 pm and will extend long into the night. Lot's of BEER, Titties, Freaks, costumes, Jello/wrestling , bonfires, and other debauchery. THIS IS THE PLACE TO BE on this night. We're following the one man power noize army of Panzer DIvision so come expecting an overdose of Audio Destruction and Visual Ecstacy. More propaganda can be found at www.MercMeltdown.com!!

SINSANITY

Sun, 03 Oct 2004 00:48:48 GMT

I worked on this pic a little more. I think I am reaching a photoshop zen. If you have a negative opinion on the fact that I did not resize this image....then take us off your fucking LJ list. I do not post these large images in communities but I will not be tamed on my own territory. As for other news.........your rebelious buddy Vlad here has a mission for you.........TRY WEARING A SKI MASK FOR 1 SOLID WEEK. NO TAKING IT OFF WITH ONE EXCEPTION: WORK! you can release your face at work...and that is it. I tried doing this myself lately and I have some pretty fucking amazing pictures of this awful but absolutely insane experiment. TRUST me,you become very mentally disturbed, annoyed, and insane. My face broke out for a solid week afterwards...I only kept it going for almost 3 days. I wore it to bed.....in the shower......parties........and people really start to get freaked out.....some people get pissed and try to take it off of you. BUT, THIS will not stop the contest.........This is a test of will.......only you can give up the mask and end this horrible madness. IMAGINE THE STORIES......imagine the reputaion.........YOU WERE THE INSANE FRIEND THAT KEPT A FUCKING SKI MASK ON FOR 1 SOLID WEEK!!!!!!!!!!! I have some pix of my try...I wish I had more. I'm going to have to resize them though.......I'll edit this post when I get them resized.

I tell you, maybe the worst part is 1. eating........2nd is drying out after a shower........and the best thing about it is the look on peoples face...and 2. Sex! - that's were it becomes fun!

My bat died.

Sat, 04 Sep 2004 20:00:15 GMT

I had a pet bat for 4 days and he died. Stuff sux......but now I have a bat to make somthing out of. I even thought of sending it to someone special in the mail. LOL

Oh, and here's some odd shit to ponder at.

Fri, 13 Aug 2004 06:05:56 GMT

The goal here was to digitally create the self-percieved Ego. Everyone thinks that they look alot different than they really do......Especially in drug-influenced social situations.

The Reality!

a demonic priest?

I will eat your fucking face You mind leeching whore-hole!

A Nice Vacation from PENN.

Fri, 13 Aug 2004 05:53:53 GMT

I'm leaving to go to NY tonight to spend the weekend with Dave (the guitarist for BILE) and Keliegh (his girl - my "sista") in their Manhatten APT. This should be a fuckin amazing trip. My 1st to NY and to be staying in the center of the city......with great friends.....one of whom I admire highly as being a key figure in one of my favoritistist-est bands and the other for being my inner reflection in female. I'm gonna get to meet the entire Abion-Batcave clan.....and all the Hellraver production possy. Of course Terrorfact is in Germany right now.....but I am trying my fucking balls off to get us 3 shows with them. Sonar in Baltimore, the show in Pittsburg, and the show at ??StateCollege?? PA (maybe) It wouldn't be bad playing at Nation either in DC. Yep, the monsters have now krept out from under the bed.....and we're tearing at your motherfuckin toes Bitch!!!! IF YOU COULD HELP US GET ANY OF THESE 4 SHOWS........DO SO AND TELL ME ALL THE INFO YOU CAN. THIS IS A FUCKING SCREAM FOR HELP. Help?, did I say that..........no, not me.....the independent Pisces. Anyhow, Stay tuned for the next broadcast from your sworn enemy at the official Skabdriver LJ HQ. <----LAME lol

Ok, now to go create a ass stomping load of Demos.....KINKOS, HERE I CUM!! This will be an all-nighter folks! Lot's of hair to dye.....circles to walk, naughty places to shave, shit to pack (pun is accepted), and list to make.

The lord works in mesterious ways

Mon, 09 Aug 2004 03:38:27 GMT

Poor David. It's been a little while since luck has fucked him hard in the ass.......and the faggot way up high (for you that believe) must have been saving it all for him today. So he picked me up for practice......we went to Taco Hell before and ate,.......then, (WAIT, 1st let me tell you this.......his car was broken into last night and they quickly snatched all of his bags from it......and he thought that was it!! so he woke up to that as an appetizer.) So we get in his car.....he turns the key......nothing........so he turns the key again............nothing. So then he takes the key out.......and suddenly the car tries to start.......he looks at me...and I shrug. It kept trying to start on it's own without the key. Then he tries to crank it again......no luck. So I get in the big seat and try.....I turn the key and stomp the brake about 20 times with no success........then I suddenly see smoke pouring from the ignition. So I go in to see what it was (maybe some grounded wires or somthing touching somthing it wasn't suppose to.) As I begin removing the covers.....I notice it's already been done.....the screws were broken....in fact all the parts of his steering wheel/ignition were broken. This lead to the suspition of a hotwire. The thing is....his wires are deep in the steering shaft and it's hard to get to them. But, the wires were what was smoking.....expecially when you turned the ignition. Then the hood starting smoking......so we opened it. Everything was super dooper over heated. Then, inside his car, the smoke got out of control and his steering wheel caught fire. He ran in to get water and taco Bell....even though the car was right near the front door....wanted to give him a hard time. Anyhow, he ended up with some water and I thought that it was a bad idea to throw it on an eletrical fire.....but whatever. He did it and it stopped it. THEN, we tried to crank it again to push it to the car shop 2 businesses down (100 ft away) and the brake and the gears and the ignition were locked. There was no more abilty to push it. Plus it started smoking some more......then he called a tow truck....which cost more on sunday......and we got a friend to bring some tools. The windshield wipers started suddenly on their own....SUPER FAST MODE! so I took a knife and disconnected them......then I tried to undo the battery for a few minutes to reset his onboard computer.......didn't work. So when the tow truck came.....and was rigging up the car....his HORN mesteriously started honking. At first I thought it was the tow truck....then.....the horn laid it on.....and wouldn't stop....as if it was screaming not to be taken. This all means a few things.

1. Someone has it in for David and this will surely expediate our trip to ATL.
2. He has to buy a new car if this one is fucked to no repair.
3. I now have a farmer's tan from standing in the hot ass sun for 6 hours.
4. His car had a poltergeist inside of it.
5. God hates David to no end.
6. We share the same feelings for God.
7. Today just fucking sucked!

On the good side however.........we made an all out video tonight at practice while we were waiting on the no show no call drummer guy to not show up or to not call us again (which is what happened). As far as the video....I watched it on the way back tonight.....and godamn......we've come a long ways.....I've never ever ever seen 2 motherfuckers rock out that much in my life. I am such a huge fan of the Driver...........the Skabdriver!

oH AND, Narc, I watched an old protomartyr practice too and I screamed laughing at myself.......What a military dork........you guys looked cool though. We were rockin out then too.

Pictures of Us!

Mon, 09 Aug 2004 02:59:38 GMT

The "Super Freak" died.

Sat, 07 Aug 2004 02:33:35 GMT

Super Freak Rick James died today. Wonder when I'll get around to doing that. I am moving to Atlanta before December.........yep, that's the god damned plan. Get the fuck out-a-her b-4 the snow hits. It must have dropped 30....uh......degrees (I just realized that there's no degrees symbol on the keyboard) today. It was a reminder of how much I need to focus on getting the hell out. We were going to try out a drummer last weekend.......and this was a great drummer......and David had talked to him saturday night at work......he WAS suppose to be at practice sunday........Well, no call.......no show.......no idea. Just left me and David sitting together outside......calling all day in between songs. In the end......that was our last hope here in PA. We could have played live with a drummer. So I think I saw a look of giving up on David......and a thought (that maybe I made up myself but....) a thought- that I was the only person he would ever really be able to depend on. Just how many times do I have to prove this!!? Well, he IS a scorpio, so, he was probably actually thinking something entirely different. So unpredictable the Scorpio's.....so unreadable. His eyes are like a cave.....so fucking deep, black.....and you have no idea what's going on inside.

Anyhow, I almost........ALMOST, got very pissed at a very damn good friend of mine last night......but I always try to see things as misunderstandings.......I am very very passive.....so I calmed myself down. In the end.......the ironic tragedy to the e-mail I recieved was.......
this person was so angry at me for one thing I had said and accused me of being exactly like the person that I thought HE was being like which made me say the things I said to begin with. The person I was accused of being like would be the person (Mr. D) asking me to do them a favor.....a person who has no guilt in asking people to do things for him......a person who lives by this creed....."you are not my friend unless you have something you can give me or somthing I want". When I was asked by MR.A to do a favor.....I made this statement "I give as much as I get". I am not a person any more that will automatically do favors......I have to look in your eyes and read your thought to make sure I am not being used before I give. I have changed. But I am certainly not MR. D.........in fact MR. D is the reason for my paranoia. USE USE USE, GET GET GET, RECEIVE RECEIVE RECEIVE, ASK ASK ASK. Also, Mr. D is a person who get's angry if you are not meeting his demands and performing favors for him.....he is someone who would write an angry letter to you because you turned him down. So you see.......You, Mr. A, were the one reminding me of MR. D. Not the other way around.....and me (not being able to look into your eyes and read your innocence) was giving you a very evolved and defensive reply as a response. A very Ironic and confusing misunderstanding. Even more confusing for everyone else in the world besides Mr. A. I have a trillion things to do and think about before ATL. I am bringing a 600 ft tall tidle wave to the door of that city when I come....I feel the pressure.....the jealosy, the confusion......I fear all of this, but nothing else.

I figured as much....

Sun, 01 Aug 2004 09:31:04 GMT

As anti-social as I am.......I know deep inside that this quiz is correct.

Category I - The Hub

You're a 'people person'. Networking runs in your
blood. Consequently, you can move through most
social circles with ease.

What Type of Social Entity are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Sat, 31 Jul 2004 22:39:20 GMT

I love dreaming......and I love sleeping in on saturdays......as much as I also hate it though.......sleep is waisting good hours. But, as long as I'm dreaming....at least I am learning how to handle and control relationships with unpersistent wierd imaginary and unemotional people. In my dreams....I am always following someone into their own complicated endevours.....through rooms....changing, wet streets in the daytime,....under furniture,......like I'm a child.....or....on the opposite....I'm running from something....or doing somthing extravagant. In dreams...no one ever ask me about my own wants or feelngs....no one cares....and in the few dreams I can remember where I tried to take charge in somthing.....no one followed.....no one cared that I had learned how to float or fly by holding my breath and swimming through air. Maybe this is an overexagerated reality of me. Maybe I am too over the edge for people to understand.....I can get you excited about somthing.....but in the middle of me telling you what somthing is...you lose interest because it went way over your boundary of understanding.....so....when I talk to people about things...they run with parts and peices....and never really see the big picture....or the genius in the overall idea or theory. Or maybe I have this extrodinary ability to see thought in vivid colors. I wonder how many of these false worlds I've imagined have set root into my dreams. I like a parallel universe......an entire group of very close friends exist their....some I've spent intimate moments with......a whole new family....most in which I can never meet again......so it's also a world of sadness. Everytime I woke up today....I forced myself to sleep again just to enter that parallel universe.....and try to find those lost faces.

WE hate being left alone with ourselves.

Wed, 28 Jul 2004 04:38:10 GMT

We are here all alone...........it's alright though......I (Mark) started a new song last night. We've been humming it in our head for a fucking week so I figured I should grab our balls and start on it. Insomnia kept us tossing and turning till 930am last night.......so we havn't slept much. Plus....Vlad had to fucking masturbate every godamn hour.......not only did I create the BIGGEST FUCKING EGO EVER.......but I also created a monster with an INSANE FUCKING SEX DRIVE.........If it's not him it's me I sware......it's a love/hate relationship you know.....I am the control and he is the strength.......and so much more. We love being a pisces!

Wed, 28 Jul 2004 04:29:35 GMT

Fuck, .....uh, this last weekend was fucking a blast........uhhhh, I got a little out of hand retarded and over touchy at Sonar....but I WILL NOT FUCKING APOLOGIZE you wanted it!!!! SAY IT, SAY IT, yeah...........that's what I thought niggaz!!! Hanging out with Igor was a great break from hanging out with myself........we're both Pisces and we both think alot alike.....but it's still wayyyyyy fucking different than looking in a mirror on shrooms with a gun to your head and Vlad yelling "do it fucker, it'll be easy and quick.....it's the perfect fix!!! What a legend......a dead hero....that never gave up fighting for what he fucking believed........, and when the day came that you realized you were failing......you ended it all!! Do IT ...DO IT!!!!!!!! (Now...to fill in the facts on this story, I had a mini-cassestte recorder tied in my dreads........I was totally fucking wired Krazy out of my mind.......COPS were banging on the front door.......the lights in the room were being over exagerated and I thought that helicopters were outside along with news crews......and I had our telephone duct taped to my left arm......and the telephones name had become Molly.....WHY??, because it was on speaker mode and she was in Virginia driving back trying to calm me down........so there was this super loud grainy conciousness of thought blaring loudly from my left arm......ME......and Vlad......who was trying to kill both of us for the good of my dreams. What a godamn nightmare that started with me not trusting the quality of an 8th of shrooms and taking them all over a period of 2 hours and saying......"Shit, these fuckers are bogus" LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!) That's a night I will remember forever.....so much darkness and twisted evil came out of me while I lay gripping the kitchen floor trying to hum louder than my own concious..........cause if there was no thought.....then there was no evil.....because at the time the only thoughts....were EVIL! a serious analyzation of who I had turned myself into came over the nxt 2 weeks. I must of also threw down the most godamn fantastic 1 hour all-out "Who are the true Americans??" rant to the phone called Molly..........to my dissapointment....the mini- cassette recorder reached the end of it's tape right after the ringing of the phone the 1st time she called....in which I exclaimed" DON'T FUCKING FUCK WITH ME RIGHT NOW I AM GODDAMN SERIOUS AS FUCK!! I AM LOSING MY MIND AND I AM TURNING ON ME AGAIN.)

OK, now that that story is out of the way........oh yeah I ended up humming to myself on the floor for 3 hours and finally threw the gun in the living room.......and the cops.....well, I hid from them and I guess they assumed that no one was there anymore so they went away......I guess.......if they really existed!!.............LOL, so yeah, about Sonar......I must have grabbed every guy and girls (and all those in-betweens) ass the other night......as soon as the liquor kicked in...........I just went straight retarded. Excuse me........Vlad went straight retarded.....I had nothing to do with that....I promise.

www.SkabdriveR.com

Sun, 16 May 2004 10:01:15 GMT

NEW "Anti-Mind" & "Invincible" demos can now be heard in our music section on www.skabdriver.com, the songs are at 96 kbps quality.

Get on the damn mailing list by going to our SkabDriver Yahoo group The Skab corps and join up there.

ALSO!!!!!!.......

We are looking for a guitarist and possibly a drummer in the central PA area to prepare for touring the northeast, email skabdriver@hellwire.com for more info.

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