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IF there was 1 more day added to these shows some one would have died and it's amazing that we all did not anyway.
Starting off on a sour note:
Leaving the World Empire HQ off-balance and deprived as normal we knew we only had half of what it took to make it all the way around and back home and here's some of the reasons:
GAS prices are way-the-fuck-out-of-control as most of you realize and... two weeks before the tour a last minute attempt to have merch to live off of was a failure. The friend of ours responsible was given around $250 to have shirts in, the shirts arrived and screen-printing scheduling was battling work schedules, rehearsal times, and road preparation. Since the shirts arrived we (along with his family, work, and close friends including girlfriend) never heard back from our merch guy (maybe dead, kidnapped). With no shirts printed for road income we made some DIY patches out of Industrial rubber sheets and spray-paint to sell for $2 or $3 each along with a giant collection of Porn for anyone interested. Preferring to ignore the reality we jumped in our newly purchased Van (pulled out of a ditch 4 days before departure, legalized, inspected, and given needed maintenance….) and loaded everything we could think we might need. Nothing was really, really well-thought out but Fuck it, we'll roll with it…. and we did.
THE SERPENTINE FIX:
Day 1 and only two hours into the drive we lost all power steering and it took a total body workout to make any turn over 45 degrees. Doubt was filling the air but a commitment kept us moving forward. 1 hour till Allentown, and making great time, our moldy white PIG named BERTHA decided to suddenly overheat. Luckily 1 hour from Allentown meant we were near another old home of mine, Harrisburg PA, the band's starting point for past 2004 and 2005 northeast tours. I called around and within minutes a Mother/Savior arrived with everything we needed and more, good people, on their way to see a band called SKABDRIVER in Allentown (AMAZING!!). We had broken 2 belts, the power-steering pump belt and last the serpentine belt to the engine fan. While waiting we realized we were standing on a natural dinner line. The heat from the road became a magnet for bloodsuckers and coincidentally there was blood for the sucking. We found ourselves getting covered in Ticks, relentless and starved, Armored Ninjas with SAW-straws for Jaws. Igor gave the highway a good strip-tease as we oversaturated his Bosnian brain with grim visions of LIME disease death. As soon as Igor and I man-handled the fan belt on we were off….now with a familiar caravan. MapQuest sent us off course once we were in the city but let us catch a glimpse of all the adolescent latino hookers waiting on porches in bikini tops and skin-tight jeans @ 50 degrees, with their gangsta pimp brothers wannabe's. A Left at the town statue and 1 block past the MUSHROOMHEAD show we arrived and illegally parked BERTHA.
SHOW 1: Allentown, PA
Darby mingled with the locals and made a booze run, J. Obscenity caught shit from Darby for bitching about the chaos of metal and wires we tossed in the trailer and asked him to be in charge of organizing. I pulled out the grinder and started making new parts for the recently destroyed keyboard stand from some scrap metal we picked up along the way, Igor talked business with the promoters, BERZERKER fueled the Tapeworm, and Skott put the mojo back into Mohawk. We summed up the crowd and felt a little relieved when we realized that the MUSHROOMHEAD show didn't kill the night as much as we thought it might, met the untamed crew of MyParasites and reunited with our coordinator Mario from Dyksick, these were two bands we'd be smelling for the rest of the tour. Mario smells pretty good but MyParasites stank like us!!
After seeing how the two-stage load-in worked, the lighting limits, and hearing the PA properties and how the venue mixed the other bands we knew we were not going to be satisfied putting SKABDRIVER on this stage. Like most venues that book independent bands they were not prepared for multiple instrument feeds and click returns and made minimum attempts to expedite load-in and load-outs to make time for quality sound checks. Their lighting system was a joke and any band standing on that stage must feel awkward. After asking the house about it they gave me the "we can't change the colors, turn any off, or change the cycle at all, you'd have to ask some guy who's not around".
So ….we setup and the set began. With almost no monitor feed, none of us could hear each other, or ourselves, besides the bass. This is not what this band, this band being our jobs, our effort, our time, our sacrifice to the scene, a gift that is suppose to give you everything we know you want, because it's everything we know is missing, because we grew up in all this and want to see it mature, and offer something worth every second you waste to watch it, not a watered down moneymaking entertainment gimmick, but a band that's living, breathing, and dieing in front of you. This is something worth digesting, it's a reflection of you, created by our struggles, and will not let you down. Uncompromised and relentless we will fight to bring it to you full-force or nothing. This band deserves the respect so few fight for and others fail to succeed. There is blood, loyalty, and duty behind this. I was not going to stand there and let all of our efforts be minimized by the care-less routines of a venue. Do your job and support the bands or Fuck you, we'll pack up our shit and throw down in our own fucking studio, all 20x20 feet of it in ATL and sound 10 times better than this shit. So I ripped my cable in half, walked my ass to the mixing booth and asked "could you do your fucking job and make us at least Audible", threw my mic at the mockery of lights and continued out the back door with as much as I could grab to begin load-out to get the Hell out of this situation. For all I cared the tour could be cancelled and we'd spend the rest of our money on finishing an album…so maybe we could catch the eye of someone willing to offer us the respect a touring band deserves.
We require common stage necessities and support. This is our chosen trade, this is our labor. Venues too often take free labor for granted and short-change themselves in the long run. Nurture success and hidden value, or continue sucking from the starved!
If Igor and Darby had not ran outside in the rain to tell me that no one left and that everyone standing in the audience was still there waiting and wanting more I would've went on a serious walk downtown to reassess this tour and my life. I saw the look in their eyes and they were satisfied with what was done, the message had been sent, now it was time to do what we were there to do. The Venue made some proper adjustments in levels and Mario replaced my broken mic and chord with his own. We switched up our set to accommodate the mood and drove on. Thank you Allentown and thank you Sterling Hotel.
SHOW 2: Pittsburgh, PA
Still no power steering but we made it to Pittsburg on the PA turnpike with no other complaints besides the $15 toll fee but tunnels are always fun (unless there's a wreck in one). The part of the city we were driving through felt good, felt like it had attitude, reminded me of Little 5 - ATL, or St. Mark's area – NYC, BUT we expected a lot more out of the venue. Not their fault though, they did what they did, they were a bar and Upstage Nation decided to host it's event in their bar. No problem, this was going to be an easy gig, no big expectations, small crowd, lot's of beer, a hospitable curvy bartender, an Oak tree with a bandana for a door guy (more Alpha male in one man than everyone in SKABDRIVER combined). MyParasites beat their drum pads into the stage like a Skinhead curb-stompin' a skeleton and J. Obscenity was recruited to treat their keyboard (our keyboard) with the same respect. Denied a Roman god's amount of DI boxes we played through our set "home-style" as fuck and I tortured my vocals into non-existence to try and cut through the mix…to no avail. Afterwards we finally made the Door-Rhino chuckle a few times, gave the "Smiling Moose" some custom SKABDRIVER beer coasters and walked outside to witness an entertaining but very untimely fight between a drunken Brooklyn-esque street-core punk and a "thuperfashion" gay boy with glasses. The fight spread as the Brooklyn-punk guy began drunkenly adding everyone in the area to his "Fuck Youz" list and out came the unstoppable Antics of JAWS. INSTIGATING, IRRITATING, AND EXPLOITING THE DRUNKS EVERY WORD RELENTLESSLY, vomiting any smart-ass remark fathomable to propel the situation to a street-riot status. JAWS can't be turned off once turned on ladies and Gentlemen, a vile-mouthed untamable momentum, JAWS is controversy. JAWS we love ya man! Anyhow, after being punched by the gay boy in the face and carried across the street by Mario, ONLY to yell more drunken rubbish at us all, did we find out that that punk kid was Mario's best friend. This whole time we're loading all our gear into the van, fighting rain, and search-proofing BERTHA expecting cops any second (JIC!). BERTHA had started to reek of gasoline and we were having a hard time breathing (without feeling funny). Obviously more maintenance was on the way. The Uber-Alpha-Male doorguy from the "Smiling Moose" chased Mario's friend 8 block's up the road till everyone settled down and we all left huffing gas fumes on the Pittsburgh highway labyrinth with no Power Steering, dwindling funds, following a girl on an hour ride to spend the night at an all girl's Art dorm in a little town none of us really wanted to ever leave.
SHOW 3: Cleveland, OH
It never happened. Show was discussed and approved and even confirmed about a month ago then, …….no fucking call, no answer, no support, no further contact efforts. Couldn't even get the faggots to trade the gig to a different venue. What a piece of shit bunch of booking management assholes. There was not 1 goddamned thing happening on their calendar for this night and people were driving hours to see this fucking show. Fuck HI-FI in Cleveland, fuck the venue, fuck their phones, fuck it's supporters, fuck it's name, fuck it's email account, fuck it's website, fuck it's owner, fuck it's schedule, Fuck it, and if you're HI-FI ..FUCK YOU! We just spent an extra night at the all girl's art dorm. BTW, Every belt in our vehicle had to be replaced and we found out that the prick's who checked out BERTHA before we left had put 3 different sets of belts on the engine, or overlooked the fact that they were too large, really loose, and put on backwards. So the Gas leak was because another belt broke and hit a fuel line and an amazing mechanic shop across from the dorm replaced every single belt properly from 1 appropriate set and fixed our fuel line for less than $200 just to get us back on the road. I'm serious, if I ever want to move to a perfectly odd place I'm secretly moving there, So fantastically foreign!
SHOW 4: Columbus, OH
MATT, sincere apologies and a huge "THANK YOU" right off the bat. So, we put our faith in Matt's hands, Matt had never booked a show before but this guy was determined to get SKABDRIVER to Columbus. So, I guided him through all the loopholes, all the attempts, and he came out to surprise the hell out of me every time I spoke to him. After he achieved booking the Outland Nightclub they stuck him with a stiff fist and announced that the Nightclub was to shut down the week before the promised gig due to some church moving in next door, or something along those lines, and left him hanging with a confirmed show, a list of band's on a bill, and no venue. Within two weeks before the tour started he successfully moved the event to High-Five Bar and asked us to promote it as much as possible or it could easily be a failure. A band we had previously shared a stage with in Detroit called ONLYFLESH (a timeless act consisting of half Industrial/half Glam-rock with a twist of punk, Fire, and suspension) had joined the bill to help support us on the tour since we were on their stompin' grounds and they enjoyed us as much as we did them. The Rev knew we'd need local support if a show re-scheduled like this was going to have a pull.
Arriving at the show we soon realized Rev was more right than he knew I didn't know. Miscommunication, mass confusion, and immediate solutions had Dyksick and MyParasites on their way from NY, basically, to an early show that had to end at 10 sharp. It was now 7 and they were still an hour away and there were still very few people there. Matt seemed stressed out beyond normal human ability about the entire thing and I was ready to negotiate what had to be done. We'd go 1st and cut our set a song to try and fit at least MyParasites in the middle so ONLYFLESH could play a 40 minute set before 10pm. More bullshit happened like more bullshit always does and we started past that start time not really knowing when JAWS, J., and Mario would arrive. My voice was flat-lined from the attempts made to cut through the mix at the previous shows and although this small venue had a better set up than Allentown the PA system was inadequate to properly separate the different EQ bands. Almost from the start Igor was playing guitar and in a flash he noticed he was almost 2 whole steps off, looked down, then looked at me and realized I'd just gotten the shit knocked out of me by his guitar resulting in it sliding out of his hands nearly 4 or 5 inches. I saw black for 5 minutes and stars for the next 15, kept singing but tried to fall in love with the intense throbbing torturing my brow. This was probably the 6th time on this small tour I'd almost been knocked out cold. Rachel was in the crowd with DJ Flynt (ATL), the OnlyFlesh crew, Rev's head was shakin, the bartenders were into it, JAWS and Dyksick were there and it came to the last song. Somewhere near the middle of Necrophobic the damn Pentagon platform (missing its front leg) flipped over the front of the stage taking me with it. Turned around and the 200lbs motherfucker had landed upside down over me like a cage and Igor had already taken advantage of it's sudden use as an addition to the stage. If you must know, unless there's a bright light in my face I am not me, I'm a manifestation of whatever man or monster the music conjures. Like a pentacle or seal contained within living flesh, that's why I perform on a large metal pentagon. Once summoned expect no rational behavior. Before I knew it I was ending the song on Igor's back, a magnet to the room's total attention and when my hand felt a handle above me, there was no gravity, there was no up or down. There was resolution, contempt, mindless sacrifice, until there was reality. What I held was the highest support possible, I met the limitation of the climb, I was wrong to place faith in its strength. What it whispered was weakness. Reality was when I looked up and felt the blinding, body and mind-numbing power slowly slithering out of its unsuccessful sacrifice. The serpent had slithered into our veins and we were temporarily empowered at a cost.
What was ruined was the rest of the night, my chance to see a great performance by OnlyFlesh and speak without a guilty filter. What I ruined was a chance for OnlyFlesh to conjure their demons. In the end it's hard to say if it was worth it. Some could not have missed it, others felt as if we'd pissed all over their hospitality. In all respect I hate that Rev and the crew dragged their equipment and gear to a venue to be denied a chance because of our mindless self-reckoning. WE, and mostly I, apologize to all that the show upset. None of what happened was pre-meditated trust me, I told the venue owner he could punch me in the face as hard as he wanted "right then" outside and expected him to do it. I saw him think about it for nearly 3 seconds and maybe that helped him understand my sincerity.
20 minutes later my hip and lower spine was receiving such intense shocks that no matter which direction I moved, or if I didn't move they came like a beating. I could only squeeze my eyelids as tight as possible and breathe without moving my left leg. Each shock was a near blackout. Over and over again every 2 seconds. I was sure it had something to do with my sciatic nerve but I feared a hip fracture, disc slip, or severe spinal injury. I had fallen possibly 10 feet landing on my lower spine across the edge of a 2 inch tall galvanized steel reinforcement lip that was the edge of a 3 ft tall steel structure and then flipped over backwards on the ground with a hot lighting rig in my lap. I missed hitting the 1x1 inch steel leg by about a foot. As soon as I stood up I knew I needed an emergency room and even said it to the camera but adrenaline had me numb and I had to clear up the issues of venue damage and responsibility first. Mario loaded me in his car with Igor and Rachel and we headed to the OHIO State University Med. Center's Emergency room. A Wheelchair became a must and they immediately put a spinal support neck brace on me. As they diagnosed the situation they came across all the other injuries from the previous shows and forced me to take a Tetanus shot and an IV to hydrate me and administer Morphine so they could painlessly perform spinal test and EKG's. I was kept company by Mario, Rachel, and Trippin ass Igor who kept the atmosphere light with his Shroom induced lunacy and unreserved laughter over every question I was made to answer. I fucking swear all the nurses were toying with my cock,… most of the closed door X-ray interactions were completely unnecessary but I didn't mind a bit. They told me I was getting 50 something X-rays then admitted that they were kidding… In the end they still took 48.
SHOW 5: Long Island NY
With no money left to make it to NY then back home and my inability to walk correctly for the next week, SKABDRIVER decided to see if we could make it back to ATL on the leftover change in our pockets and continue on the album we forgot to wrap up before the tour. We'll be touring again in July/August and October so any promoters looking forward to our presence or touring bands needing an independent touring partner can start contacting us immediately. The sooner they are booked the better. I am now a firm enemy of rushing shit!!
Thank you:
J. Obscenity - for loading and unloading all our shit, putting up with Darby, and filming the shows (even though you missed all the good shit!!)
Anita, Joey - you will always be family. Never enough catching up! Love ya both.
Mario - for the booking & support, and the trip to the hospital. Sorry bout the cluster fucked Columbus schedule….and any inconvenience we caused. Good Times!
Matt - for all the effort, stress, shows, and mess. To your future!! Thanks man!
JAWS/Myparasites - constant good times and support!
Sabrina/Mercedes/Krista – couches, wine, floors, wireless access, bathrooms, tours, rides, beds, stuffed animals & roofs over our heads. Appreciated it!!
Upstage Nation for hosting a Skabdriver event….you got lucky!
To The awesome mechanics that'll never read this ever.
To the venues that dealt with our standards and was left with our messes.
To anyone who sponsored our drinking habits or tossed us a dime.
To everyone who posted the flyers & information online anywhere.
To all the fans who drove far to Taste our Tour.
To our Friends in ATL who help keep this alive.
ALSO: to the security bunch at the Sterling Hotel: Have fun with that big fucking knife you legally stole from me, it was a present to my little brother and you're only lucky that I got about 6 more.
Starting off on a sour note:
Leaving the World Empire HQ off-balance and deprived as normal we knew we only had half of what it took to make it all the way around and back home and here's some of the reasons:
GAS prices are way-the-fuck-out-of-control as most of you realize and... two weeks before the tour a last minute attempt to have merch to live off of was a failure. The friend of ours responsible was given around $250 to have shirts in, the shirts arrived and screen-printing scheduling was battling work schedules, rehearsal times, and road preparation. Since the shirts arrived we (along with his family, work, and close friends including girlfriend) never heard back from our merch guy (maybe dead, kidnapped). With no shirts printed for road income we made some DIY patches out of Industrial rubber sheets and spray-paint to sell for $2 or $3 each along with a giant collection of Porn for anyone interested. Preferring to ignore the reality we jumped in our newly purchased Van (pulled out of a ditch 4 days before departure, legalized, inspected, and given needed maintenance….) and loaded everything we could think we might need. Nothing was really, really well-thought out but Fuck it, we'll roll with it…. and we did.
THE SERPENTINE FIX:
Day 1 and only two hours into the drive we lost all power steering and it took a total body workout to make any turn over 45 degrees. Doubt was filling the air but a commitment kept us moving forward. 1 hour till Allentown, and making great time, our moldy white PIG named BERTHA decided to suddenly overheat. Luckily 1 hour from Allentown meant we were near another old home of mine, Harrisburg PA, the band's starting point for past 2004 and 2005 northeast tours. I called around and within minutes a Mother/Savior arrived with everything we needed and more, good people, on their way to see a band called SKABDRIVER in Allentown (AMAZING!!). We had broken 2 belts, the power-steering pump belt and last the serpentine belt to the engine fan. While waiting we realized we were standing on a natural dinner line. The heat from the road became a magnet for bloodsuckers and coincidentally there was blood for the sucking. We found ourselves getting covered in Ticks, relentless and starved, Armored Ninjas with SAW-straws for Jaws. Igor gave the highway a good strip-tease as we oversaturated his Bosnian brain with grim visions of LIME disease death. As soon as Igor and I man-handled the fan belt on we were off….now with a familiar caravan. MapQuest sent us off course once we were in the city but let us catch a glimpse of all the adolescent latino hookers waiting on porches in bikini tops and skin-tight jeans @ 50 degrees, with their gangsta pimp brothers wannabe's. A Left at the town statue and 1 block past the MUSHROOMHEAD show we arrived and illegally parked BERTHA.
SHOW 1: Allentown, PA
Darby mingled with the locals and made a booze run, J. Obscenity caught shit from Darby for bitching about the chaos of metal and wires we tossed in the trailer and asked him to be in charge of organizing. I pulled out the grinder and started making new parts for the recently destroyed keyboard stand from some scrap metal we picked up along the way, Igor talked business with the promoters, BERZERKER fueled the Tapeworm, and Skott put the mojo back into Mohawk. We summed up the crowd and felt a little relieved when we realized that the MUSHROOMHEAD show didn't kill the night as much as we thought it might, met the untamed crew of MyParasites and reunited with our coordinator Mario from Dyksick, these were two bands we'd be smelling for the rest of the tour. Mario smells pretty good but MyParasites stank like us!!
After seeing how the two-stage load-in worked, the lighting limits, and hearing the PA properties and how the venue mixed the other bands we knew we were not going to be satisfied putting SKABDRIVER on this stage. Like most venues that book independent bands they were not prepared for multiple instrument feeds and click returns and made minimum attempts to expedite load-in and load-outs to make time for quality sound checks. Their lighting system was a joke and any band standing on that stage must feel awkward. After asking the house about it they gave me the "we can't change the colors, turn any off, or change the cycle at all, you'd have to ask some guy who's not around".
So ….we setup and the set began. With almost no monitor feed, none of us could hear each other, or ourselves, besides the bass. This is not what this band, this band being our jobs, our effort, our time, our sacrifice to the scene, a gift that is suppose to give you everything we know you want, because it's everything we know is missing, because we grew up in all this and want to see it mature, and offer something worth every second you waste to watch it, not a watered down moneymaking entertainment gimmick, but a band that's living, breathing, and dieing in front of you. This is something worth digesting, it's a reflection of you, created by our struggles, and will not let you down. Uncompromised and relentless we will fight to bring it to you full-force or nothing. This band deserves the respect so few fight for and others fail to succeed. There is blood, loyalty, and duty behind this. I was not going to stand there and let all of our efforts be minimized by the care-less routines of a venue. Do your job and support the bands or Fuck you, we'll pack up our shit and throw down in our own fucking studio, all 20x20 feet of it in ATL and sound 10 times better than this shit. So I ripped my cable in half, walked my ass to the mixing booth and asked "could you do your fucking job and make us at least Audible", threw my mic at the mockery of lights and continued out the back door with as much as I could grab to begin load-out to get the Hell out of this situation. For all I cared the tour could be cancelled and we'd spend the rest of our money on finishing an album…so maybe we could catch the eye of someone willing to offer us the respect a touring band deserves.
We require common stage necessities and support. This is our chosen trade, this is our labor. Venues too often take free labor for granted and short-change themselves in the long run. Nurture success and hidden value, or continue sucking from the starved!
If Igor and Darby had not ran outside in the rain to tell me that no one left and that everyone standing in the audience was still there waiting and wanting more I would've went on a serious walk downtown to reassess this tour and my life. I saw the look in their eyes and they were satisfied with what was done, the message had been sent, now it was time to do what we were there to do. The Venue made some proper adjustments in levels and Mario replaced my broken mic and chord with his own. We switched up our set to accommodate the mood and drove on. Thank you Allentown and thank you Sterling Hotel.
SHOW 2: Pittsburgh, PA
Still no power steering but we made it to Pittsburg on the PA turnpike with no other complaints besides the $15 toll fee but tunnels are always fun (unless there's a wreck in one). The part of the city we were driving through felt good, felt like it had attitude, reminded me of Little 5 - ATL, or St. Mark's area – NYC, BUT we expected a lot more out of the venue. Not their fault though, they did what they did, they were a bar and Upstage Nation decided to host it's event in their bar. No problem, this was going to be an easy gig, no big expectations, small crowd, lot's of beer, a hospitable curvy bartender, an Oak tree with a bandana for a door guy (more Alpha male in one man than everyone in SKABDRIVER combined). MyParasites beat their drum pads into the stage like a Skinhead curb-stompin' a skeleton and J. Obscenity was recruited to treat their keyboard (our keyboard) with the same respect. Denied a Roman god's amount of DI boxes we played through our set "home-style" as fuck and I tortured my vocals into non-existence to try and cut through the mix…to no avail. Afterwards we finally made the Door-Rhino chuckle a few times, gave the "Smiling Moose" some custom SKABDRIVER beer coasters and walked outside to witness an entertaining but very untimely fight between a drunken Brooklyn-esque street-core punk and a "thuperfashion" gay boy with glasses. The fight spread as the Brooklyn-punk guy began drunkenly adding everyone in the area to his "Fuck Youz" list and out came the unstoppable Antics of JAWS. INSTIGATING, IRRITATING, AND EXPLOITING THE DRUNKS EVERY WORD RELENTLESSLY, vomiting any smart-ass remark fathomable to propel the situation to a street-riot status. JAWS can't be turned off once turned on ladies and Gentlemen, a vile-mouthed untamable momentum, JAWS is controversy. JAWS we love ya man! Anyhow, after being punched by the gay boy in the face and carried across the street by Mario, ONLY to yell more drunken rubbish at us all, did we find out that that punk kid was Mario's best friend. This whole time we're loading all our gear into the van, fighting rain, and search-proofing BERTHA expecting cops any second (JIC!). BERTHA had started to reek of gasoline and we were having a hard time breathing (without feeling funny). Obviously more maintenance was on the way. The Uber-Alpha-Male doorguy from the "Smiling Moose" chased Mario's friend 8 block's up the road till everyone settled down and we all left huffing gas fumes on the Pittsburgh highway labyrinth with no Power Steering, dwindling funds, following a girl on an hour ride to spend the night at an all girl's Art dorm in a little town none of us really wanted to ever leave.
SHOW 3: Cleveland, OH
It never happened. Show was discussed and approved and even confirmed about a month ago then, …….no fucking call, no answer, no support, no further contact efforts. Couldn't even get the faggots to trade the gig to a different venue. What a piece of shit bunch of booking management assholes. There was not 1 goddamned thing happening on their calendar for this night and people were driving hours to see this fucking show. Fuck HI-FI in Cleveland, fuck the venue, fuck their phones, fuck it's supporters, fuck it's name, fuck it's email account, fuck it's website, fuck it's owner, fuck it's schedule, Fuck it, and if you're HI-FI ..FUCK YOU! We just spent an extra night at the all girl's art dorm. BTW, Every belt in our vehicle had to be replaced and we found out that the prick's who checked out BERTHA before we left had put 3 different sets of belts on the engine, or overlooked the fact that they were too large, really loose, and put on backwards. So the Gas leak was because another belt broke and hit a fuel line and an amazing mechanic shop across from the dorm replaced every single belt properly from 1 appropriate set and fixed our fuel line for less than $200 just to get us back on the road. I'm serious, if I ever want to move to a perfectly odd place I'm secretly moving there, So fantastically foreign!
SHOW 4: Columbus, OH
MATT, sincere apologies and a huge "THANK YOU" right off the bat. So, we put our faith in Matt's hands, Matt had never booked a show before but this guy was determined to get SKABDRIVER to Columbus. So, I guided him through all the loopholes, all the attempts, and he came out to surprise the hell out of me every time I spoke to him. After he achieved booking the Outland Nightclub they stuck him with a stiff fist and announced that the Nightclub was to shut down the week before the promised gig due to some church moving in next door, or something along those lines, and left him hanging with a confirmed show, a list of band's on a bill, and no venue. Within two weeks before the tour started he successfully moved the event to High-Five Bar and asked us to promote it as much as possible or it could easily be a failure. A band we had previously shared a stage with in Detroit called ONLYFLESH (a timeless act consisting of half Industrial/half Glam-rock with a twist of punk, Fire, and suspension) had joined the bill to help support us on the tour since we were on their stompin' grounds and they enjoyed us as much as we did them. The Rev knew we'd need local support if a show re-scheduled like this was going to have a pull.
Arriving at the show we soon realized Rev was more right than he knew I didn't know. Miscommunication, mass confusion, and immediate solutions had Dyksick and MyParasites on their way from NY, basically, to an early show that had to end at 10 sharp. It was now 7 and they were still an hour away and there were still very few people there. Matt seemed stressed out beyond normal human ability about the entire thing and I was ready to negotiate what had to be done. We'd go 1st and cut our set a song to try and fit at least MyParasites in the middle so ONLYFLESH could play a 40 minute set before 10pm. More bullshit happened like more bullshit always does and we started past that start time not really knowing when JAWS, J., and Mario would arrive. My voice was flat-lined from the attempts made to cut through the mix at the previous shows and although this small venue had a better set up than Allentown the PA system was inadequate to properly separate the different EQ bands. Almost from the start Igor was playing guitar and in a flash he noticed he was almost 2 whole steps off, looked down, then looked at me and realized I'd just gotten the shit knocked out of me by his guitar resulting in it sliding out of his hands nearly 4 or 5 inches. I saw black for 5 minutes and stars for the next 15, kept singing but tried to fall in love with the intense throbbing torturing my brow. This was probably the 6th time on this small tour I'd almost been knocked out cold. Rachel was in the crowd with DJ Flynt (ATL), the OnlyFlesh crew, Rev's head was shakin, the bartenders were into it, JAWS and Dyksick were there and it came to the last song. Somewhere near the middle of Necrophobic the damn Pentagon platform (missing its front leg) flipped over the front of the stage taking me with it. Turned around and the 200lbs motherfucker had landed upside down over me like a cage and Igor had already taken advantage of it's sudden use as an addition to the stage. If you must know, unless there's a bright light in my face I am not me, I'm a manifestation of whatever man or monster the music conjures. Like a pentacle or seal contained within living flesh, that's why I perform on a large metal pentagon. Once summoned expect no rational behavior. Before I knew it I was ending the song on Igor's back, a magnet to the room's total attention and when my hand felt a handle above me, there was no gravity, there was no up or down. There was resolution, contempt, mindless sacrifice, until there was reality. What I held was the highest support possible, I met the limitation of the climb, I was wrong to place faith in its strength. What it whispered was weakness. Reality was when I looked up and felt the blinding, body and mind-numbing power slowly slithering out of its unsuccessful sacrifice. The serpent had slithered into our veins and we were temporarily empowered at a cost.
What was ruined was the rest of the night, my chance to see a great performance by OnlyFlesh and speak without a guilty filter. What I ruined was a chance for OnlyFlesh to conjure their demons. In the end it's hard to say if it was worth it. Some could not have missed it, others felt as if we'd pissed all over their hospitality. In all respect I hate that Rev and the crew dragged their equipment and gear to a venue to be denied a chance because of our mindless self-reckoning. WE, and mostly I, apologize to all that the show upset. None of what happened was pre-meditated trust me, I told the venue owner he could punch me in the face as hard as he wanted "right then" outside and expected him to do it. I saw him think about it for nearly 3 seconds and maybe that helped him understand my sincerity.
20 minutes later my hip and lower spine was receiving such intense shocks that no matter which direction I moved, or if I didn't move they came like a beating. I could only squeeze my eyelids as tight as possible and breathe without moving my left leg. Each shock was a near blackout. Over and over again every 2 seconds. I was sure it had something to do with my sciatic nerve but I feared a hip fracture, disc slip, or severe spinal injury. I had fallen possibly 10 feet landing on my lower spine across the edge of a 2 inch tall galvanized steel reinforcement lip that was the edge of a 3 ft tall steel structure and then flipped over backwards on the ground with a hot lighting rig in my lap. I missed hitting the 1x1 inch steel leg by about a foot. As soon as I stood up I knew I needed an emergency room and even said it to the camera but adrenaline had me numb and I had to clear up the issues of venue damage and responsibility first. Mario loaded me in his car with Igor and Rachel and we headed to the OHIO State University Med. Center's Emergency room. A Wheelchair became a must and they immediately put a spinal support neck brace on me. As they diagnosed the situation they came across all the other injuries from the previous shows and forced me to take a Tetanus shot and an IV to hydrate me and administer Morphine so they could painlessly perform spinal test and EKG's. I was kept company by Mario, Rachel, and Trippin ass Igor who kept the atmosphere light with his Shroom induced lunacy and unreserved laughter over every question I was made to answer. I fucking swear all the nurses were toying with my cock,… most of the closed door X-ray interactions were completely unnecessary but I didn't mind a bit. They told me I was getting 50 something X-rays then admitted that they were kidding… In the end they still took 48.
SHOW 5: Long Island NY
With no money left to make it to NY then back home and my inability to walk correctly for the next week, SKABDRIVER decided to see if we could make it back to ATL on the leftover change in our pockets and continue on the album we forgot to wrap up before the tour. We'll be touring again in July/August and October so any promoters looking forward to our presence or touring bands needing an independent touring partner can start contacting us immediately. The sooner they are booked the better. I am now a firm enemy of rushing shit!!
Thank you:
J. Obscenity - for loading and unloading all our shit, putting up with Darby, and filming the shows (even though you missed all the good shit!!)
Anita, Joey - you will always be family. Never enough catching up! Love ya both.
Mario - for the booking & support, and the trip to the hospital. Sorry bout the cluster fucked Columbus schedule….and any inconvenience we caused. Good Times!
Matt - for all the effort, stress, shows, and mess. To your future!! Thanks man!
JAWS/Myparasites - constant good times and support!
Sabrina/Mercedes/Krista – couches, wine, floors, wireless access, bathrooms, tours, rides, beds, stuffed animals & roofs over our heads. Appreciated it!!
Upstage Nation for hosting a Skabdriver event….you got lucky!
To The awesome mechanics that'll never read this ever.
To the venues that dealt with our standards and was left with our messes.
To anyone who sponsored our drinking habits or tossed us a dime.
To everyone who posted the flyers & information online anywhere.
To all the fans who drove far to Taste our Tour.
To our Friends in ATL who help keep this alive.
ALSO: to the security bunch at the Sterling Hotel: Have fun with that big fucking knife you legally stole from me, it was a present to my little brother and you're only lucky that I got about 6 more.
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